Welcome to our new SOLOS blog!
The issue of how to integrate the implications of the internet into our parenting and professional lives is going to be long standing. We all have much work to do.
I'm hoping that here, on the SOLOS blog, in the comments sections on the articles and through the bcseyelist, we can create an inclusive online space to talk about that work.
An electronic space if you will, for those concerned about sexual exploition, online culture, and youth issues to exchange information, ideas and resources and more importantly to develop relationships with each other. To exchange our ideas, to share our challenges and support each other's work, to celebrate our successes as well as honour where we've been on this journey and the work of those who came before us.
Me, the SOLOS Board, and all the other volunteers who have kept this idea going for the last five years offer you our sincerest welcome.
I'm hoping that here, on the SOLOS blog, in the comments sections on the articles and through the bcseyelist, we can create an inclusive online space to talk about that work.
An electronic space if you will, for those concerned about sexual exploition, online culture, and youth issues to exchange information, ideas and resources and more importantly to develop relationships with each other. To exchange our ideas, to share our challenges and support each other's work, to celebrate our successes as well as honour where we've been on this journey and the work of those who came before us.
Me, the SOLOS Board, and all the other volunteers who have kept this idea going for the last five years offer you our sincerest welcome.
posted by hatzic at 11:42 PM
7 Comments:
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this is cool
Just my own two cents.
You might offer site content for offenders, too, who are looking to reform, or avoid offending again.
I think, when faced with the opportunity to commit a crime one would like to commit, it's easy to say no if such opportunities are rare or difficult to take advantage of anonymously. I mean *any* crime, like stealing a large amount of money.
Now, given that *so* many young girls are online and at least curious about sex (because of how much of it is in the media), it is becoming difficult for a potential offender to keep saying no. Also, I believe that most men are potential offenders, because we aren't not attracted to a female just because she's a few years below some arbitrary legal age limit. Marketers are aware of this, and use it to leverage the popularity of preteen-girl-idols into idols of a much wider appeal; e.g. Britney Spears, Hilary Duff, the Olsen Twins, etc.
I'm not trying to justify any actions of offenders (particularly not the most evil ones!), I'm simply trying to justify the need for content directed to such people.
Apologies, to the people who read this and are angry at me, for my existence.
I agree with you that we need to address this issue holisitically. That includes acknowledging the sexualization of young people has an impact on both sides of the issue. There is a site that I'd recommend for those with a problem viewing illegal material or concerns about their online viewing habits (and those who are concerned about them). Go to
http://www.croga.org .
thanks for taking the time to comment,
Hi Merlyn,
I found your site to be very informative. I recently attended a parent education night at our elementary school on internet safety and found out many useful things. After attending this event I decided to look a bit closer at what my daughter was doing on MSN and hotmail. Much to any parents worst fear it appears she has been corresponding for the past several months with someone she has no idea who this person is!!!! There is quite a bit of sexual connotations in his email,and my daughter confesses she has emailed him a picture of herself..YIKES.. however I can't seem to find anything my daughter has written as it appears to be deleted and only have what she is telling me to go on. I have 3 questions that I am looking for direction on...
1. How can I find out if this person is ligitimate or a predator?
2. How can I go about locating the sent messages from my daughter? 3. We have always talked about internet safety, but I guess she wasn't listening....and now we have discussed this issue in great length as well. I know that not allowing my daughter access to MSN etc will just have her doing it somewhere else, any suggestions on what to do instead???
I look forward to hearing from you..
Signed
Desperate Mom
Hi Desperate Mom,
I'm sorry to hear that you've found out your daughter is communicating with an unknown male.
It is nearly impossible to find out if this person is "legitimate" or a predator however.
What is possible (and worthwhile) is for you and your daughter to have a frank conversation about this person's motivation for spending time cultivating an online relationship with her. What value could this (older?) male possibly gain from contact with your daughter? Money? sexual interaction or pictures? Companionship, and if so, why is he conversing with her? What can she provide to him?
As for recovering the sent messages to him she has deleted, you may be able to recover them with some data recovery software. (Contact a local computer retailer to suggest a data recovery software manufacturer.)
I would suggest that you and your daughter view some websites together and discuss the risks attached to sexual correspondence with unknown people.
Try http://www.weron2u.ca/home/ , http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/ and http://www.chatdanger.com/ . You can also download the "Teen Life Online" booklet from this website and have a conversation about it with her.
Unfortunately, trying to ban youth from using the internet is like trying to keep the neighborhood cats out of your flower bed. There's aren't any fences, deterrents or boundries that will work absolutely but a combination of all of them will help. Have guidelines for using the web at home (including you supervising her online communication), tell her bluntly what the risks are so she can begin to internalize those guidelines and most of all keep being an involved parent and looking for support and help in this new area of parenting challenge.
(p.s. Could you email me directly. I have a question for you.)
Thanks,
and hope this helps,
Merlyn
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